memoirs of you...

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I remember the last time I saw you as vividly as the moment you stepped onto my doorstep yesterday. I remembered your eyes, mostly the way they looked at me. I remembered your shoulder and how it felt with my head against it. I remembered you in total of the person you were more than two years ago.

I never dismissed you as a ghost in my life because I knew that we would pick up where we left off that summer night in San Francisco. Then I looked at you last night and I realized that I had missed you and there you were, breathing in front of me, just an arm's length away. You grabbed me and pulled me closer to you and I could feel you were just as nervous as I was. 

It's crazy to think about all that has changed after all this time: our bodies, our successes, our dreams, our relationships. I felt the electricity and I know he did too. We acknowledged what time has done the lines that we must constrict ourselves because of what times has put between us, for reasons unbeknownst to us. 

But in that moment, I felt and let myself feel totally and completely all that I needed to. Leaving that porch line one for you was a decision that I will never regret. I feel like I could love you forever. I feel like you may know this too. I have this feeling inside me that you may be my person- why would all of this be happening?

I wish we had the chance to do what we always intended to do. Maybe I am naive, maybe I am risky, maybe this is all a mistake.

A mistake that I want to take.


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