Shifts

 

commitment (n.)

1610s, "action of officially consigning to the custody of the state," from commit + -ment. (Anglo-French had commettement.) Meaning "the pledging or engaging of oneself, a pledge, a promise" is attested from 1793; hence, "an obligation, an engagement" (1864).

As the weather shifts maybe life shifts with it. Maybe emotions and promises shift with the change of weather. My life has shifted over the past week to undo the promise of commitment that we shared. It was honest, realistic, rational, and relatable. Knowing the odds were against us, we made a decision and undo a promise. 

Love exists here. It always has. It always will. 

But reframing this love has been arduous on the heart, arduous for my mind. But I understand it fully as time continued the distance grew further. So I ask myself, how do I exist in this world with this big love and how do I carry it? How do I carry it without breaking? How do I make it less heavy? 

So we decide to move forward; we continue to love; we continue to seek our own inner peace; we continue to seek our lives separately for our own hopes and dreams. I will always be grateful to the world for giving me such a big love, a fantastical love. 

I will carry this big heart of mine for someone who will take it, keep it safe, keep me warm, and in turn heal the scarred edges of past loves. The loves that shaped me, moved me, melted me, and, in some ways, ruined me. 

We carry on. We open; let something else in. Let life in.