Linear

Time can be as linear as we make it to be. It starts at a point.. then it moves, but variables cause this move to be an experience different than an experience another may have. Sometimes it moves slowly, short bursts of conversation, hesitant meetings, stolen kisses that turn into sporadic touching of warm bodies, intertwined in the light of the moon, yet waking up alone in individual beds- afraid of the commitment of staying until the sun rose.

Sometimes it moves in paces. Laughing moments here and there, time spent together, time spent apart, but most importantly, time spent dedicated to each other. The length of a pace is different upon the stature of the person. Therein lies some misunderstanding that may occur between the pair.  A slow response, sense of lack of interest, sense of overeagerness, time not spent together, time well spent together, and different stages of learning. 

The moment we met, in that bar, on that evening, I looked at you and had no idea what I was doing. I didn't melt when you smiled at me, your jokes were semi-funny, but there I sat next to you because there as no one else I would rather be by.

There wasn't any of us going home to each other's places... it was stolen moments in time and a packed cab ride that got us back home. The days passed, our conversations continued..we went for that sunrise hike but it ended up being cloudy so that was what it was but we laughed and we got breakfast and the moment I looked at you across the table, I knew I was in trouble.

With one left until graduation, I knew this was not good. I did not want to welcome it, I did not want to introduce it to the remaining selective time I had with my closest friends. But there he stood, and there I started to fall in love with him. As the days creeped closer to the end, I remember him leaving me a letter to read while he was flying to New York City for an interview. He told me not to open it until then. He told me he wanted to try, no matter the miles. So I stood there because I knew that that was what I wanted as well.

He came back and I told him yes. He eventually interviewed for a company in the Bay Area and thus we began our long distance relationship for 1.5 years. I have to say in the moments of the great and in the moments of disaster, my love for my partner was well understood and I hurt tremendously after I moved to the Bay Area and things had come to an end.

He taught me more about love, myself, and relationships than others. He taught me that love acknowledges distance but travels as needed. He taught me that fighting for what you love requires grace and respect. He taught me that sometimes fighting for what you love may not be the best thing for both parties.

The ending was difficult. It was a sidestep that I need to take and a sadness that I needed to acknowledge, but he handled it with the grace and respect that I am grateful for in the here and now. He knew he didn't want to hurt me more than he knew he did. He did what he needed to do- and for that, I am so proud of him.