Querencia

To you.. to all of you. Thank you for looking at me, holding me in your eyes, and melting me even if it was for a moment, a week, or years. Maybe you held me for a night. The sun, already dark with sleep. Hushed laughs and stolen kisses. Electricity lighting up my veins, the smell of you that drove me crazy. Maybe you only held me for a couple weeks. Made me laugh, my freckles lighting up my face in the sun or maybe we never saw the sun together and chose to spend our time under the cover of darkness. Maybe you held me for a few months- lighting up the pit of my heart to feel the warmth that I thought was never going to come back. You looked at me and saw me- but maybe only for the parts you needed. That's okay because I looked at you and used your touch to counter my loneliness. Then... maybe you held me for years. The first few months of flirting, inside jokes, and secret annoyance. Then some days of the cold shoulder, shutting each other out, or crying in secret. Those ...

I remember the last time I saw you as vividly as the moment you stepped onto my doorstep yesterday. I remembered your eyes, mostly the way they looked at me. I remembered your shoulder and how it felt with my head against it. I remembered you in total of the person you were more than two years ago. I never dismissed you as a ghost in my life because I knew that we would pick up where we left off that summer night in San Francisco. Then I looked at you last night and I realized that I had missed you and there you were, breathing in front of me, just an arm's length away. You grabbed me and pulled me closer to you and I could feel you were just as nervous as I was.  It's crazy to think about all that has changed after all this time: our bodies, our successes, our dreams, our relationships. I felt the electricity and I know he did too. We acknowledged what time has done the lines that we must constrict ourselves because of what times has put between us, for reasons unbekno...