Querencia

Time and distance have always saturated our relationship. Time zones, miles, and wifi have been at the forefront of all that we are and possibly what could have been. Of course, a girl can dream, a girl can imagine, a girl can question the what-ifs. What began as "ugh, Bori, be cool, don't fuck this up" turned out to be quite a wonderful friendship. I feel grateful to have such an open mind that has been shaped through numerous  experiences, times, and the different people I have encountered. I look forward to encountering many more, experiencing much more, though I do not anticipate more heartbreak. But one really does not have control over that. One, honestly, doesn't have control over much. I honestly can't believe that it's been almost two years since I had to let go of someone that I did not want to let go. It all seems like a blur as of now and I am happy to say that I have come to the point where I am ready for my next best thing. I have learned so ...

To go through a deep sense of distaste for oneself can be a very dangerous thing. To sit here, lay here, breathe here forcing myself to see the light, see some positivity, may be doing more harm than good. It's been a hell of a fall. September began with a car accident, to traveling to Korea to say my farewells to my ill grandparents, to coming back and being swamped with work, to losing control of my schedule and time to myself, to gaining some weight, to self-loathing, to now. It has been a hard month. I can't even explain how difficult it has been because I have yet to accept such feelings, but I feel it in the aching of my bones, the extra skin on my cheeks, and the heaviness that lays on my chest. I don't feel because I don't have time to and for me, sitting and writing is my way to understand the ways of my mind and of my heart. Today my darling friend who told me today that, with time, all will be well. I believe her, I do. She urged me to do what I know be...